Friday, January 18, 2008

How I Avoid Myspace Drama?

How I Avoid Myspace Drama?

What up ppl. I missed my gym this morning cause I was inspired to write something. And I happened to come across a blog addressing how he's sick of Myspace Drama. This seems to be the popular vote nowadays. But where is the drama coming from? When did myspace become a Fight Club? Personally, I don't know, b/c in the 3 years I've been on. I've only had very few encounters, & basically they were mostly race related, but we weren't on each other's list to begin with. So it was small, & something I really wouldn't consider beef. Cuz we spoke each other's peace & kept it moving. I didn't call him out in a blog. (actually I did once. LMAO.) But bottom line, it was over the next day. I wasn't logging on looking for it, or entertaining it.

I guess that's why I'm glad I'm the last to know the Beef of the Week or what drama's transpired. Becuz, honestly, I don't take it too serious. I put my heart into my art & my writing. So what you know about me thru my writing, you all know. And I read others just to learn about them as individuals, not to see who's done what. Becuz anyone that knows me in real life, knows I hate talking about ppl, I don't know, unless they do something personal to me to piss me off. But awhile back, I did kinda almost slipped into it, but I had to check myself & keep my distance & keep my blogging experience about me. And those that read will get a taste of who I am, not who did what. What I'm about. Not what's poppin' between so & so.

But just like in real life, I've always managed to stay drama free for the most part. Mainly becuz I know who my true friends are. and with me, I don't use the term friend loosely. And the minute one turns against me or does something to make me question them.... it's done. I might stay cool with them, but you won't reap the benefits of the type of friend I can be. The one that'll go through the storm with you. The one that's gonna have your back when no one else does. The one that if you wrong, I'll let you know as a friend, but I'll never snitch you out. I'm that friend.

And I expect the same in return from a friend. It's called mutual respect & treating ppl the way you want to be treated. that's what I'm about. And the minute someone comes across to me as not sincere or shady, I might not drop them right away, but I will keep my distance & keep it cool & simple. Only if they get personal, will I drop them. I got too many others I'm feeling to worry about a handful not reciprocating my support.

But I'm glad to say that I haven't had too many problems with ppl on da space & that might shock a lot of ppl who've had rifts here & there & might think I'm blowing smoke or whatever. But here are some of the methods of how I stay myspace drama free.

1. Blog what I know & what I feel, but always be opened to other ppl's opinions.

I've always valued the opinions of others, especially if they're valid & from those willing to talk intelligently with you about it & not get all personal & extreme. Becuz, believe it or not, the world is not centered around one person. PERIOD. I've discussed race relations with whites without it resulting to name calling or blocking each other, & still cool til this day. And that's just one example. Debates are always cool, but keep emotions out of it & try to be opened to other's opinions. Hell. You might learn something.

2. Block assholes & move on. PERIOD!!!!

It's always gonna be assholes on the space, but that's life. But guess what? You choose to either accept or decline them. If they can't act right, decline, block, whatever & move on. So what if they say something on the same blog about you. Don't even look for it or entertain that shit, cuz eventually other folks are gonna see it too, if you're valid. Becuz if you talk negative about someone to one individual, you're opening yourself up to be judged or ridiculed. I'm very paranoid, so when I hear 2 ppl act cool with me & someone, & they talk negative about someone to me that I've assume are cool with one another. Guess what? I'm gonna assume you talk behind my back too. But I don't dwell on it. I just keep it cool, cuz as long as they don't disrespect me blatantly, then we cool. Cuz talking behind my back, only makes them fake & a coward.

3. Stay out of other ppl's drama & beefs.

This is hard to do, b/c it's some ppl on here I truly adore & respect. But sometimes, you have to stay neutral, & I don't mean America's definition what we learned in history class. But like
Switzerland. I'm guilty of such & I hate that, b/c I hate the idea of turning on A, b/c of what he/she did to B, when I've never had personal issues with A. Even though I might hear others turn against A, it's not in my heart to just turn on someone, if we never had issues. Cuz if I did that, I'd only be falling into a clique & basing it on ppl I know about as much as I know A, & that's hardly, which isn't fair. Now I might watch my back & be cautious of A, based on, but I wouldn't just join a "Fuck "A" Coalition." Becuz how would you feel if someone hated on you & turned others against you, too? And what if it's ppl you actually liked?

4. Avoid cliques & be open to everyone (even if they're not within the circle.)

One thing I hate is being judged by the ppl I'm (supposed to be) cool with. I feel like I'm a kid again, where I get into a fight with my cousin, & b/c he's the bossy one everyone listened to, except me, he'd turn everyone against me, saying, "don't play with Phellah." And they'd talk shit to me, when I've done nothing to them, but they're entertaining this nigga who (9 X's out of 10) started it to begin with. That's how it is on here sometimes. I actually lost friends b/c of my affiliation with La Familia, cuz of beef I knew nothing about. Originally, it pissed me off, but now I look at it as them being petty & childish, cuz they judged me without even knowing me or
trying to get to know me. But lump me in with the BS that I knew nothing about. That's past & it's done, & I feel stupid now letting it get to me. Cause to me, that was their loss. Not mine. Cuz if they were that petty to drop me based on an acquaintance, then get the fuck on then. Cuz how would they feel if I dropped them based on the same thing? It sums up to they were never a friend to begin with & not worth the trouble, so in the words of Keyshia Cole, Let it Go.

5. Keep some things to yourself.

This includes secrets you wouldn't want others to know. I don't care how a good of a "friend" someone appears on screen. That's just it. Appears!!! My best friend of 16 years didn't start off as us telling each other our personal business after a year or 2. Like any relationship it has to grow into a real friendship. I even have friends over a decade that I consider real friends, but don't tell them everything. Not becuz I don't like them, but I know they're known to talk a little too much. Especially when alcohol's involved. But that's who they are, & I accept that. But be damn, if they'll have my business on front street.

This also includes talks about others within the circle. In college, I turned on one of my friends after some shady shit he did to me, personally. But I kept it to myself, cuz I didn't want to cause
tension within, plus I didn't want to sacrifice the real friendships I did have. But I kept my convos with him to a minimal & just talked about petty stuff, just to keep up appearance. In the end, his shady spirit was exposed & they turned against him, too. And by the time that happened, that's when I confessed to my best friend that I'd never really liked him, & exposed the shit he did to me. Which made our circle closer, b/c we didn't have that baggage anymore that we had to pretend wasn't there. And the fact that we both kept quiet in hopes of not losing each other as friends, strengthened our friendship. And that's hard to find sometimes.

Bottom line, if X, Y, & Z are supposed friends, and if Y falls out with X, keep it to yourself. If X is wrong, Z will see it sooner or later. Y could be sacrificing he & Z's relationship, talking about
X. And who's to say Z won't go back & tell X. Let Z find out on his own, especially when you haven't known neither for a good period of time. But if you know X is a snake, then don't feed it information that could poison you with venom.

BTW.... This is no subliminal diss or bullshit... I just re-read what I typed & "X" is not who you think it is. So no breathing more into stuff that it isn't. That's another way to avoid beef & drama.....

6. Don't take everything so serious & personal.

If a person feels they're being talked about, so what? Fuck em. Personally, that's how I feel. I'm 35, I'm too old for back & forth B.S. LOL. But if you must know if you're being disrespected or
misrepresented, at least go to the person..... but in respect & not in anger. See, that's where we mess up & make a problem worse. Who knows, it might be a misunderstanding or it might be about you based on a misunderstanding. Either way, you can ressolve the issue at hand
& can once again enjoy your myspace experience.

Sometimes addressing someone, it's best to come with knowledge & wisdom, & not emotion. Cuz H-Town said it best, "Emotions'll make you cry sometimes."

And That's one to grow on. lol

Does anyone have any other drama-free methods to add based on their own experience?

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